Saturday, August 28, 2010

ATONEMENT n LIFE

Satisfaction – a word understood as a feeling one can get after completion of any desire, work. But for me this one word means a lot more than its actual meaning or I can say its dictionary meaning. It is a word that can somehow put all your senses at peace. You feel like you have achieved everything, you have fulfilled your life’s purpose and you just start enjoying every bit of your life irrespective of the situations you are pursuing.
When I first started realizing the true sense of this word, I had never thought that this one word could change my entire life in such a manner. But as I kept on exploring more and more about this, I found myself more and more in its grasp and my life started shifting towards a meaningful one with a hell lot of happiness around me each and every time. I started enjoying every bit of my life and was very much satisfied with it. I started looking for a feeling in everything I did which served as a purpose for me to be involved in that work. Until today, when suddenly a feeling came from within me that, I have lost somewhere the gratification that I used to get from my deeds. That there is something missing in my life that is hindering me from being happy. That there is something still left that either I have not achieved yet or if I have achieved then it is not in the right format. That there is a zeal missing in me that has helped me to drive my life till now.
 But on the other hand, there are things still happening around me that make me feel contented or rather I say that I pretend to believe that I m happy with it. There are things going around that will somehow enforce me to believe that I am satisfied. That there is everyone present to be with you at all times and everyone out there will serve you well.
After jotting down my thoughts, I am still obscure about the actual meaning of Satisfaction. I am really in a dilemma about whether I am satisfied with my life or not. I am still not able to understand that whether there is any physical existence to this “word” in this world or this whole concept is just mentally controlled. That is it just in our thinking that we are satisfied?? Is it the feeling that we get in actual manner?? Or is it just we assume in our senses to have a peaceful and happy life???